How to Avoid the Comparison Game

By Joyce Dunaway @DunawayJoyce

You created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139: 13-14 NIV).

As women we often play the comparison game. She’s a better cook, a better housekeeper, better wife and mom, prettier, or skinnier, a better writer.

When we dwell on these scenarios, we become discouraged. What works best is remembering God made each of us unique. No two people are alike. Even identical twins have differences.

When we read God’s promises and follow his leading, we will be able to accomplish what He calls us to do. However, sometimes this calls for a lot of patience because God’s timetable is often different from ours. When our dream doesn’t happen when or how we want, He knows best and has something better for us.

Following are some tips for avoiding the Comparison Game:

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Focus on your positive traits. As a writer you might be a great children’s book author but not good as an adult fiction writer. You might be a great suspense author, but not good at writing romance God needs the gifts He’s given you to enhance the world. So let’s accept our talents and use them for His glory.


God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out when you have faith that God is speaking through you. If your gift is that of serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, do a good job of teaching. If your gift is to encourage others, do it! If you have money, share it generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly (Romans 12: 6-8 NLT).

Even though God has given us a spiritual gift, it’s necessary to study and improve that gift in a way that will bring Him glory and honor. As a writer, you can improve your craft by attending conferences, reading instruction books, having a successful writer as a mentor, or attending a critique group.


Find out what specific place God wants you to use your gift. For example, he doesn’t call each teacher to use that talent in a public school. Perhaps He’s calling you to teach a class at church, or teach others how to take care of their health. Since there are numerous opportunities to use your experience, you will have more peace and success by making sure you’re doing what He wants you to do—not what someone else thinks you should do.


Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might (Ecclesiastes 9:10). To be successful hard work is involved. Even though Paul was called to preach the gospel, he often supported himself financially by using his craft of making tents.


God wants us to enjoy life and rest when necessary, but sometimes we have to choose between certain activities to focus on our calling. For example, we have to decide to watch TV, go out with friends or make the hard decision to close ourselves in privacy in order to write. The extra effort will benefit others and ourselves.

I would love to hear your tips on how you avoid the comparison game. Please share your thoughts in the section below.

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